Hey y'all!

Today, I want to talk about something a little different. Marriage and the things I wish I knew before getting married! I usually stay away from the topic of marriage because I personally don't feel like having my marriage showcased for the whole world to see. I feel like somethings are meant to stay private and to me, marriage is one of those things.

However, I DON'T mind sharing some of the things that I have learned in my (almost) 13 years of marriage.

So really quick, a little history lesson about my husband and I! If you don't know us then you may be shocked to learn that we got married at the young, tender ages of 20 and 18. Yes.. 20 and 18!
We met when I was only 16 and we never dated until I was 18. Somewhere in between that time frame, we lost contact and reconnected shortly after my 18th birthday.
A lot of people thought we married each other randomly outta the blue or that we wouldn't last, but we knew where we wanted to go in life and we knew it was no accident that our lives crossed paths again.

God clearly had plans for us that we couldn't see!


While I was wrapped up in the thought of marrying the man of my dreams, there were some things I didn't know... if I had, I definitely would have been a better wife, friend, parent and so on.

So, if you plan on getting married, are newly married or just as seasoned as I am take a look at some of the things I wish I would have known before getting married and hopefully they can help you a well.

1.Marriage is not 50/50- When it comes to marriage, I'm pretty sure someone has always told you that it is 50/50. Well after years of experience lol, I am here to tell you it's not! Marriage is actually 100/100! You have to be willing to commit 100% when you are married. Being present emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually is really only beneficial when you are giving your spouse 100% of you!
Which brings me to my next point...

2.Baggage will always be present- Weather you like it or not, your spouse had a history.. long before y'all met! Depending on how you look at it, baggage can either be a good thing or a bad thing. Thinking about all the issues, people, and experiences your spouse went through before you, has made them who they are... and if you're married, I think it's safe to say you love them! Accepting the baggage will strengthen your bond more than you might think!

3. Your spouse is also your best friend-Yes I know this is obvious, but back when I was 18.. I didn't even think about my husband being my friend. To me a friend was one of my girls I grew up with or someone I would swap pregnancy stories with. I thought the friendship title was only reserved for someone I wasn't married to. Thankfully, I realized sooner than later that my husband was my best friend. We talked about how he made me feel, how the kids made me feel, how other people made me feel, my dreams, my fears, bought me chocolate, watched chick flicks and supplied me with wine when I had a bad day! If that's not a best friend... then I don't know what one is!



4.Your Spouse is more important than your kids- This may be an unpopular one, but I truly feel that your spouse is more important than your kids, meaning that they should come first. Hear me out first! When you and your spouse are happy, getting along and showing what real love looks like, your kids in return will be happy, getting  long and show you real love as well. You and your spouse have to be one in order to parent your kid peacefully and lovingly.

5.It's ok to ask for permission- I'm a firm believer in respect and while some people may view asking your spouse for permission as a form of being " controlling" or "getting in ones business".. I think it shows that you  are considerate. I think when you ask your spouse "is it ok if..", "Can I go with..." or "Do you mind if.." you are reassuring yourself that you are not overbooking yourself, forgetting plans y'all made and showing that you care about them and what makes them comfortable. What if your spouse doesn't like someone that you know because they always bring you down? What if they had something special planned for later? What if y'all planned on finishing a project Sunday afternoon but you forgot and were off at brunch somewhere? I'm sure they would not be the happiest person in the world for a moment. It is OK to ask for permission!

Look, I don't have a perfect marriage and I don't want y'all to think that I am on here trying to be holier than thou. Trust me, I am far from it!
My husband and I have been together for over a decade and while it gets easier, marriage is still a combination of work, compromise and 100% commitment!

How long have you been married?
Do you plan to get married? Let me know in the comments below!