Don't Stop Believing

by - 9:29:00 PM

Summer 2014

Yes... I love 80's music lol. 

This Picture was taken  Summer(2014). I was almost to my pre pregnancy weight after losing 100 lbs with my 2nd child and then after my 3rd child (gained 60 lbs) I was able to lose a little over 50 of it...But I, like a lot of people go up and down....

Have you ever just sat and looked at yourself? I mean really looked at yourself? Well unfortunately for me, I can't stop staring. You wanna hear something kinda crazy? Ok good! 

Im probably not the only one that does this but when I look at myself, I don't see me. I don't see the mom that is there for every big moment for her kids. I don't see a wife that supports and does everything she can to be a Proverbs 31. woman. I don't see a business woman that has been working hard for her dreams to come true. And I don't see a woman that is happy.

When I look at myself, I see the quitter, the excuse maker and honestly at times, the woman that embarrasses the ones she loves because of the way she looks. 

All my life I have been big. Bigger than all the kids in my class, bigger than my friends, bigger than the older kids... just big. And now that I am an adult, I am still bigger than all the moms in play group, bigger than my friends, bigger than guys and still just big and unhappy. 

I have to admit, I get beyond upset when I can't wear my husbands clothes or when a simple shopping trip turns into hours of trying on clothes and fighting tears because everything I love doesn't fit or I don't feel confident in it. Being over weight is something that is constantly on my mind. I think about wanting to be healthy, I think about how obsessed I was with my body and how I was nearly starving it. I think about so many things constantly every single day.

November 2015

This is the most recent "body" picture I have taken... As I said... Im up and down... But education and consistency is key! I know what to eat and what not to eat.  My lovely condo has an AMAZING gym and I actually do love to workout! Every time I feel like I just want to quit forever.... I sing "Don't Stop Believing" to keep me pushing. 

Now I'm starting to get back on track a bit. I started at ground zero and I have began taking the same steps I did before ( except this glass of wine I'm currently drinking). 

I know that this is a journey and there is no such thing as a quick fix and I don't expect it to be one.

I just can't stop believing (and doing)
 I will be posting updates on my journey! So keep watching! 

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