Raising a DUDE surrounded by chicks3:38:00 PM
As you know, we have a litter of kids lol... AND one of them is not like the others! That's right! Our lone wolf, solo prince, little man of the house, lone ranger, the little/big brother or as my husband calls him, king #2!
Let me start by saying this.. my husband is a GREAT father. he is always leading by example of how a young man should act, dress and even treat women/girls/sisters/mama. However, because he owns his own business, he works a lot and as a SAHM/teacher, I am around him the most.. right along with his clan of sisters.
I do my absolute best at trying to treat all my kids the same. See how I do it HERE! But every now and then, I feel like that rule should go out the window. I mean every kid is different so obviously you would respond to each one differently. Luckily our girls are pretty similar when it comes to emotions, likes, dislikes and so forth. But having a solo son... that exception comes along more often than none.
For a long time, even before he could walk, I was always "concerned" about having a boy with two older sisters. Would he protect them even though he is younger? Would he be picked on because he was the youngest? Would he be "girly or "soft? Will he like boy stuff and like to be rough? All of these questions would pop in my head more than a handful of times everyday. Especially now since it is 1 against 3! And honestly sometimes these questions still do!
I was listening to a sermon today and it was talking about raising young boys into men and WOW! I am so thankful that I have a husband that has lived up to his duties as a man. But you know me.. I always get to thinking about the what if lol. What if his dad wasn't around? What if he lost his mind and became a horrible dad? Could I really raise a dude surrounded by chicks?
The truth is yes I could raise him indeed. But could I raise him to be a MAN? NO! Only a man can really show a young boy how to be a man. Now don't get me wrong, I know plenty of single mothers that have raised well rounded, respectful men.. but some where down the line, a man has played a huge role in their life whether the mom knows it or not.
In our house, raising a dude surrounded by chicks has kinda became a no brainer on my end. I know what I can do and can't do with him. Or when his dad has been super busy and they haven't had their "guy time". I make sure that he has his own interests and I encourage him to try things that his dude friends from church do. I also make sure that all his time is not consumed with his sisters, me or my little pony lol. Yes, sometimes he watches the girly shows, I mean he was bound to see one sooner or later. But 9/10 he just gets annoyed!
I also make sure he has "his toys", ones the girls can't play with or turn into something for their dolls. Something that is "super cool" or "awesome". Something that is his own!
When it comes to house work, he cleans his mess and helps pick up the toys and occasionally helps with other house hold items. Once he knows how it should be done, he doesn't do it as often as the girls do. However, I do make sure that he takes care of his things and that he doesn't expect for his sisters or I to be his maid. I'm pretty proud actually how well he respects the space of the house and his belongings. We are pretty traditional when it comes to the roles of the household. Our kids understand it and it is something that we believe is not only right, but good for our family.
Lastly, I think I was so paranoid that he would be girly, that by the age of one he knew he was a boy! I may have kinda went over board a few times lol. But I made sure that he knew the difference early. I made sure that he had his time with dad and no sister interruptions. Again I am so thankful that he has a dad that cares and is there to guide him in only a way that he can. I thank God for him daily!
So... raising a dude surrounded by chicks is not that complex. Keep their interest theirs, let them have their own stuff and encourage that positive male relationship. Whether it's their dad. step dad, grandpa, uncle older cousin or close family friend. Moms, never feel like you can do it all. It is OK to allow male figures (good, positive and same beliefs) in your sons life.
Do you have an odd kid out lol? How do you handle it? Let me know in the comments below!
ps: i am in no way, shape or form trying to tell anyone how to raise their children. the way we do things in our house is our way of living. please do not take anything personally in this blog post!