How to raise a blended family1:06:00 PM
Being a step parent is no easy road. In fact it can be more tedious, emotional and just down right confusing. You want to keep a solid foundation in your relationship but the thought of saying the wrong thing, not doing something the right way or even the simple fact that you are not their mom or dad can haunt you... trust me.
I have been a step mom for almost 10 years, and unlike Disney and their horrid perception.. I'm not a villain. I go out of my way to make our home and time as a complete family as loving as possible and I also make sure that our bond gets stronger everyday.
But what does it really require? Are their rules that need to be followed? Exceptions?
I can tell you this, I am NOT a parenting expert! Yes I have 4 kiddies but honestly has anyone ever perfected the art of parenting? If yes, please give me their info!!
But seriously, raising a blended family is so much more complex than raising a "normal" family. No there obviously are no rules in parenting but when you have a blended family, there are a few!
First, treat your step child as your own! This one rule was embedded in my head, heart and subconscious from the moment I became involved with my husband. I promise if this golden rule is lived by, it will make raising a blended family a lot less complicated...
Being fare and treating every child the same seems like a no brainer, after all that is what we have all been trained to do since childhood. But unfortunately not all parents/step parents use this rule and it is really heartbreaking.
Second, TALK! I can not stress how important this is.. especially if your situation is similar to mine where your step child does not live with you. Phoenix and I have many, many, many conversations about everything! I constantly remind her that I am here for her and no matter what she goes through she can always depend on me to guide her. Our conversations can also be light hearted as well. Kids just want you to show interest in what they like. I honestly feel like an EAH scholar thanks to my girls lol.
Last but not least, instilling respect! In the house, between parents and with the kids. Keeping the lines between child and parent have never been more important. I would always feel afraid that if I came off too harsh or too loosey goosey that it would cause unwanted tension in the home. But all of that goes back to the first golden rule. I couldn't be one way with my bio kids and then one way when they are all together.. it's not fare nor is it healthy. Respect between parents is just as important. If we don't agree with something that is being taught we DO NOT disrespect the other parent by talking down on them or say things like "they are wrong"... we simply establish the difference between how things will be done in our home.
At the end of the day, the main focus is the family. Blended or not it's all about family.